I had a virus and cried about it

Published On: January 13, 2019Categories: Life785 words4 min readViews: 9

I had a virus for the majority of this week.

It started last Sunday afternoon and morphed from fevers and aches and pains, to a head cold with pain in my face. It has sucked massive dick. #sorrynotsorry

Getting sick completely threw me out of whack. I had to stop training (when I’d really only just gotten back into it), my doctor (and my partner Josh aka. Mr I Told You So) told me I was severely dehydrated thanks to my fevers and I went batshit stir-crazy being inside the house for that long. I didn’t work all week at either job (yesterday’s Saturday session at F45 was my first one back in over a week) and Josh took a consistent wide berth around me for fear of catching whatever bug inhabited my body.

I also cried.

I actually fucking cried on the couch on Tuesday because I felt so sorry for myself. And then I threw a mild-leg-tantrum thing, but stopped because it took too much energy.

I cried again on my only outing that day – in the doctors’ waiting room (silently I might add. I wasn’t wailing or anything).

I also cried on Wednesday whilst lying in bed. Just because I was so sad that I was sick and I was wondering what would happen if I was sick like that, with tissues up my nose and the inability to breathe fully, for the rest of my life.

Being sick sucks, but it’s also a good reminder of a few things.

  • Like how great it is to be healthy and feel well.
  • How good it is to have a job and use my brain throughout the day.
  • How boring it is sitting at home by yourself, with no one to talk to.
  • That no matter how exciting Netflix might appear, it is actually filled with countless movies and TV shows that are pretty average. So much so that I ended up watching the entire Twilight saga again (after mocking 20 minutes of the first one just the other day). Some of the acting is just – I can’t even, but as always, Edward Cullen wore me down and by the last movie I had come around to believing the love story again.
  • I also learnt that Lady Gaga is in love with Bradley Cooper, and Rami Malek was snubbed by Nicole Kidman at the Golden Globes. And I know this because that sort of shit was all over my newsfeed on my first day of lying on the couch. And who even cares that she snubbed him? Rami – you are a GOD and she is NOBODY. Fun fact: Rami is also in the last Twilight movie, which I never realised. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • I was also reminded that scrolling aimlessly through social media is soul-destroying. When Instagram actually tells you you’ve had enough and tries to spit you back out of the social media vortex, it’s a rude awakening.

    It’s a sad moment when this pops up on your screen. This is the first time I’ve ever actually seen it.

Hand on heart though, I did try to be productive in some ways.

I read my book in ten minute intervals or until my head hurt and I realised I was just staring in pain at the page in front of me. I also attempted to work on my blog, but sitting up or concentrating for longer than five minutes proved extremely difficult, so not much productivity was had, especially at the beginning of the week.

I ventured outdoors a few times, as I know how good a bit of sunshine and fresh air can be when you’re under the weather. My advice however, is not to overdo it, particularly if you have several sets of stairs to climb to get back to your apartment.

Being sick has definitely made me feel grateful.

Grateful for when I am healthy and how important looking after my physical and mental health is. A good reminder to myself and anyone that will listen to me, to not take your health or your job for granted. Being stuck at home all day with discomfort, pain, no energy and no motivation to do anything is one of the most frustrating and depressing feelings I have experienced. You feel trapped in your own body.

I am so looking forward to getting back into the gym, and eating properly, and getting in and around bone broth more often (cos that shit saved my life). I am also looking forward to being able to do demonstrations at F45 without puffing, and going to sleep without a stack of medications, tissues and Vicks Vapour Rub next to me.

Here’s to good health.

Han x

about author

Hannah Smith

Hannah Smith writes contemporary romance and romantic suspense

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