What up? Yeah, same.
I haven’t written a blog in FOREVER and I was thinking about why that was recently. Turns out there are a number of reasons, some of which are listed below:
- Attempting to get a first draft done for my next book – it takes a buttload of energy. There’s lots of hair-pulling, groaning, crying and procrastination to be done, and that’s where a lot of my energy is going.
- Author things – trying to market my book, write newsletters, beg for reviews, promote giveaways and come up with content that doesn’t make me sound like a complete and utter try-hard is also exhausting.
- Working a day job to support my life, my dog and my author dreams. #hero
- Battling Imposter Syndrome and then giving myself a hard time because in order to get Imposter Syndrome, I must think I’m pretty fucking good at everything.
As a result, my creative well is dry AF.
I’m not happy about it. I want so desperately for the words to flow from my brain to my fingers and tap, tap, tap away until I forget to eat my lunch and re-read passages whilst silently patting my own back. I want that more than anything. But it ain’t here, and if I’ve learned anything from experiencing burn-out last year is that you can’t force it. You CAN’T. The more you try, the worse it gets. TRUST ME. If you’re reading this and in that place right now with whatever your passion is in life, and you’re thinking maybe you should just push through it DON’T! Please, for the love of God – TAKE. THE. BREAK.
Do I have any good news?
Sure. As a result of feeling so stuck, I’m trying to soak up good things that I know will help. See another list:
- Going to Sarra Cannon and her ‘Heart Breathings’ YouTube channel for advice on just about anything (her most recent vlog spoke to me like a gentle pat on the head), Sarah Sutton (she’s pure joy) and Bethany Atazadeh (so many tips). Highly recommend finding whoever these people are in your life and focusing on the positive, calming content (no comparison or high-level stress stuff).
- I’ve just got on board with all things 90-day planning, Kanban boards and using Notion to it’s full potential. Lucky for me, my awesome parents bought me a Day Designer for my birthday. It doesn’t start until 1 July, so it’s kind of perfect (I’m hoping to be out of this funk by then).
- Based on advice from Sarra Cannon, I’m developing a reward system for myself when I complete certain tasks. Yes. Like a kid at school. I will reward myself with stickers or stationery or something delightful like that and it will be marvellous.
I’ve also got plans to see friends in the coming weeks and opportunities to just be in the moment. Lately, I’ve been way too much in my brain and I need to knock that shit off.
Here’s to hoping the next time I write one of these, I’m simply bragginggggg about how effortless it was for me to smash out 20,000 words in a couple days. Pfft.
Thanks for your support team, it means more than you know.
P.S. For those who have read Hazy Love and are interested in the follow-up, I’ve been using Sebastian Stan as inspo for Anthony Bonetti … More spills about that to come via my newsletter in the coming weeks.